Not so good birthday

My birthday week/weekend has come and gone. I’m not sad to see that it’s over with. This year wasn’t as exciting as I thought it was going to be. It started off with the night before my bday receiving an email from Lamonte’s wife. Shocker! She started off with an apology for the way things originally went down when she first contacted me. Then after reading more into her email I realized it was more about her own insecurities with Lamonte and his lying/cheating ways. She wanted to know if I still had feelings for him, how often we talked and if it was only regarding Makenna? Against my better judgment I gave her the answers she was looking for. Everyone around me that knows what’s going on said I should have just ignored the email and let her wonder. But that’s not me. I know what its like to be completely in the dark and so in love with someone that you want to believe every word that comes out of their mouth even though deep down you know it’s a lie. So I gave her the facts. I didn’t tell her whether she should stay with him or not. That is her decision to make for herself and for her kids. So much of me wanted to say, “You’re crazy. You have two children. Run, run far away because he will never change.” But that’s not my place. I told her if she wanted to know about Lamonte she should talk to his family not his EX. I mean after all, I could be filling her head with false information right? We all know that I wouldn’t do that but she doesn’t know anything about me other than what he has told her so I wouldn’t blame her for thinking so.


The next morning I received a call from my father which was another issue. I haven’t spoken to him since the drama that went down during my baby shower back in January. With all the drugs and him being in and out of jail I decided a long time ago I do not want him to be part of my life or Makenna’s. So when I picked up the phone to hear, “Hey baby, Happy Birthday!” I didn’t know how to respond. I was cold and kept it very short. He said “I love you” and I responded with “ Bye” all the while fighting back the tears. I hung up and felt horrible about the way I was treating him but I just didn’t want to go through the same thing all over again. Eventually I called back and history repeated itself…AGAIN. He gave me the long speech about how he’s changed, how much he loves me and how he’s no longer doing drugs. This would be the same speech he’s given me 4 times in 2 years.

I wish I could say my birthday got better but it was pretty much downhill from there which included being broke the entire time, getting into a fight with one of my best friends and ending a romantic relationship I was having with someone. Better luck next year I guess…