You know you have a good thing, when he inspires you to be a better person and encourages you spiritually!

Soulful Relationship

Soulful Relationship


By Reverend Ronald McFadden



If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.


An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.'

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults is not really important.


Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?


You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Q. What keeps a relationship strong?

Answer: Communication, intimacy ( not sex ), trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note), sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion. "Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.' The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8. Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?

You should always try to be a little more kind to each other than necessary. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the 'I'. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Christmas 2010

This has officially been the best Christmas ever and its all due to my wonderful little girl.  Watching her react to the holiday festivities has been such a beautiful thing.  She was so excited about all of her presents and even more so about seeing all our loved ones.  The family definitely spoiled my princess this year.  She got a rocking horse, lots of big Fisher Price toys, Tickle Me Elmo, stuffed animals that light up/talk, clothes, etc.  I bought her My Mommy Hung the Moon by Jamie Lee Curtis.  If you haven't read it before you need to.  It's such a cute book.  We read it last night before bedtime.  Christmas Eve was spent with Uncle Kendall and then dinner and a church service that night.  Christmas Day everyone came over to our house, opened presents including the White Elephant gift exchange, ate, and then went to see Little Fockers.  Christmas night I stayed over at Britts house playing dominoes and drinking all night.  Cornelius ended up coming over and it was nice spending the evening with him.  I never would have thought he'd stay that long playing but I think he was actually having a pretty good time.  What can I say?  My sister and I are quite the duo.  haha!  Needless to say I didn't get to sleep til 5am so I'm a little tired today.  All in all a great holiday weekend.  Now its back to work on Tuesday.  I may try and see Greg's (Lamonte's bestfriend) little boy tomorrow if he's around.  Greg and I recently connected again and we've been talking about getting the kids together for awhile now so I think it would be perfect timing.  I hope everyone had as wonderful of a Christmas as I have had.  Merry Christmas!

Makenna finally met her big brother!!!

Mary Ann came to Austin this weekend and invited Xavier & Vanessa as well.  For those who don't know Xavier is Makenna's big brother.  They live in San Antonio so they decided to stay at the hotel with Mary Ann for the weekend.  Brittany went with Makenna and I to meet them at the Hilton and then to dinner down on 6th street.  Xavier turned out to be a total sweetheart to Makenna.  He was such a proud big brother.  Makenna definitely got lots of love from everyone while there.  Another exciting thing....he brought two Christmas presents with him for her.  One of them was a baby doll.  Which happens to be her first baby doll.  =)  All and all it was a great night and I'm so happy we were all able to get together.  Xavier is Lamonte's TWIN!  So cute!    We will definitely plan on taking a trip to San Antonio to see him again soon.  Oh and now maybe we'll visit Mary Ann and Valynica in DC.  I already told her to look for a good man there for me.  haha!

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Okay so maybe one more....

Anthony Hamilton

I know this is random but I absolutely need Mr Hamilton to finish up his next album. The Point Of It All was one of his bests but I'm ready for something new. Crossing my fingers its done sometime soon. Til then...here is something for ya'll.